Those who know me well know that I don't like to beat around the bush. I think it is a waste of time as well as never really getting to the point. With that said, I am just going to put this out there. I view marital intimacy as a very big perk of being married. The fact that sex is how babies happen is just a bonus. So lets talk about this like grown ups who can have a real conversation.
The way I feel about intimacy is pretty simple. If it isn't fun, if it isn't enoyable, if it isn't everything you thought it would be, then you are doing something wrong. I am not going to walk you through what you might be doing wrong, but I can tell you what has helped me a lot.
1. Be open and honest in what you are and are not comforable with. Being intimate with your spouse is also expressing yourself in a way that is clear as well as respectful to your partner. In addition, be being open and honest with what is and is not working for you (if you get my meaning) is just as important. I mean, can you really be upset and blame your partner for your unfulfilling expereince if you didn't say anything and just expected your spouse to read your mind?
I like that the prophets have stated that marital intimacy is not only for bringing souls into the world, but also the fulfilment of the marraige. In A Parent's Guide, it states, "Both husbands and wives have a physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual need associated with this sacred act. They will be able to compliment each other in marraige relationship if they give tender, considerate attention to these needs of thier partner. Each should seek to fulfill the other's needs rather than use this highly significant relationship merely to satisfy his or her own passion." I chose to place the italics to highlight a point that it would be very difficult to fulfill the other's needs if they are not communicated clearly.
2. It took me some time to get over the fact that for so long I knew only the basics around sexual intercourse, and that I was told for so long that it was bad and that I should not even engage in anything that would lead up to it. Then I got married and all was 'legal'. It send my mind on a trip. I wasn't comfortable with my own natural feelings. I had to talk with a counselor for a few sessions to wrap my head around it, and to begin exploring this new territory with my husband. It helped tremendously and I was able to give myself permisison to enjoy and explore my sexuality with my husband. If you are struggling, go see someone. There is no shame in asking for help.
Marital intimacy can facilitate a powerful bond between husband and wife. Communicating clearly but lovingly is key to a successful experience. From my own experience, I enjoy this time with my husband because he is invested in how I feel just as much as I am invested in how he feels. This also applies to emotional intimacy. Caring about your partner, putting them first, and clearly communicating needs can help with marital closeness.
0 thoughts:
Post a Comment