Intervention Letter

As you know, my amazing Mom celebrated her 50th birthday a few weeks ago. Her brothers and sisters, Mom and Dad all had a 'party' for her. You see, my mother shares my affinity for all things fizzy. Especially Route 44 Diet Coke with strawberries from Sonic. We make daily runs after we hit the gym to rehydrate when I come to visit. So her birthday party with them was an intervention. (Totally a joke, but the letters were HILARIOUS!) I thought I would post my favorite one.

Dear Laraine,

First, Rainy, we want to you know that what we are about to say is done out of love and concern for your welfare, as well as your eternal salvation.

We thought that putting your addiction in a context that you might understand might help you realize the need for this intervention:

So here goes (compare Alma Chapter 39):

And now, our sister, we have somewhat more to say unto thee than what has been said by thy brothers. Have you not observed the steadiness of thy brothers, their faithfulness, and their diligence in keeping the Word of Wisdom? Behold, have they not set a good example for thee?

For thou didst not give so much heed as did thy brothers, among the people of the East Valley, the Tucsonites the Peoriaites and those living in the land of Snowflake. And this is not all, our sister. Thou didst do that which was grievous unto us, for thou didst forsake the family and did go over to the land of Sonic, among the borders of the town of Lehi, after that harlot, Diet Coke.

Yeah, she has stolen away the hearts of many with her pick-me-up caffeine boost and her most desirable and crunchy ice. But this was no excuse for thee, our sister. Know ye not, that this is an abomination, yeah, most abominable above all save it were the drinking of Red Bull.

And now, our sister, we would that ye had not been guilty of so great a crime. We would that you had learned this lesson in thy youth, but ye would not. We would not dwell upon your crimes, to harrow up your soul, if it were not for your good. But you cannot hide your crimes from your family, and except you seek treatment, they will stand as a testimony against you.

Behold, O our sister, how great iniquity ye brought upon the extended Flake family. For when the children of the family of Boone saw your conduct, they would not believe in the words of their fathers, and have chased the twin harlots Godiva and Ghirardelli. (Our cousins, the Boones, were not allowed to eat chocolate because of the caffeine in it. No joke.)Therefore, we command you, our sister, to repent and do good, lest you lead away the hearts of many to destruction. Refrain from your iniquities we pray, and seek treatment.

Love,

Jeff and Cheryl